AUDI 
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence 
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented 
 
BMW 
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder 
Big Money Works 
Bought My Wife 
Brutal Money Waster 
 
BUICK 
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer 
 
CHEVROLET 
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips 
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time 
 
DODGE 
Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater 
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere 
 
FIAT 
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology 
Fix It All the Time 
Fix It Again, Tony! 
 
FORD 
First On Recall Day 
First On Rust and Deterioration 
Fix Or Repair Daily 
Found On Road, Dead 
Fault Of Research & Development 
Fast Only Rolling Downhill 
Features O.J. & Ron`s DNA 
backwards - Driver Returns On Foot 
 
GM 
General Maintenance 
 
GMC 
Garage Man`s Companion 
Got A Mechanic Coming? 
 
HONDA 
Had One, Never Did Again 
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else 
 
HYUNDAI 
Hope You Understand Nothing`s Drivable And Inexpensive 
 
MAZDA 
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along 
 
OLDSMOBILE 
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday. 
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick`s Irregular Leftover Equipment 
 
SAAB 
Send Another Automobile Back 
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown. 
 
TOYOTA 
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto 
 
VOLVO 
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object 
 
VW 
Virtually Worthless